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Finding Renewed Trust & Confidence: A Birth Story

February 15, 2013 By admin 3 Comments

I am a childhood abuse survivor and so I didn’t have confidence or trust in my body. That lack of confidence was reinforced when my first birth, a planned natural birth, resulted in a painful and highly medicated induction. I suffered post-partum depression for over a year after the birth. But I am blessed because though I was defeated in spirit, I had great support. When I told my husband, Rob, that I was changing my care to a group of Certified Nurse Midwives who deliver at a local hospital he stood behind me. We did not know it at the time, but the choice to change my provider became one of the pivotal moments in my recovery as a survivor, and monumentally improved my joy in mothering and my marriage.

 

When I discovered I was pregnant again, I fearfully avoided my first prenatal appointment for 12 weeks. My previous doctor wasn’t nurturing. When he checked me he did it in such a way that I was left feeling violated. No “cold touch.” No “gentle pressure.” No bed-side manner. He just walked in, “I’m going to check your cervix.” Check. “Everything looks normal.” It wasn’t his intention to make me feel bad, but when you’re an abuse survivor it’s not unlike being abused again. My midwives gave me care which chipped away at my fears. They talked with me about my feelings about my past birth and my future hopes and concerns, not just my medical history. They treated my whole person. I was more than a body which happened to be wrapped around a baby. Our first appointment lasted over an hour. I felt safe in their care. But I still didn’t feel confident in my self.

 

My due date came and went– nine days, ten days, eleven, twelve– I feared I was unable to go into labor. My midwives gave me the best standard of care and monitored my baby’s health. They trusted my body to go into labor eventually and encouraged me to be patient. On the evening of my thirteenth day post-due my contractions finally started, 15 minutes apart, and I tried to prepare myself to welcome my baby to the world.

 

I called Rob from work, and I drove my daughter to my in-laws’ home and called the midwife. She told me to hang out at  home until I felt I needed more support or contractions were coming very close together. Bedtime came, and Rob put our daughter to bed. I labored quietly in the living room while my husband’s family went to sleep. Everything was normal, peaceful.

 

In the back of my head I feared things progressing, feared going to the hospital and what would happen to me once I got there. Would my body do its work? Would I have spent 7 hours in labor just to be dilated to 2 cm when we finally arrived? As night turned into early morning we decided to make the trip to the hospital. My fears escalated as we arrived. I was defensive towards the nurses and Rob, nervous my labor would stall.

 

When my midwife arrived, she brought her calming presence with her. Within thirty minutes she had the lights turned down, and every unnecessary person removed from the room. She gave Rob instructions on how to rub my back. The three of us fell into a rhythm. Rocking, massaging, humming, moaning… finally I relaxed. Finally I felt like things were the way they should be. I joked between contractions. I was actually enjoying being in labor!

 

Suddenly, I felt the urge to vomit and my contractions started bashing on top each other. I had been lying on my side in bed and I called out for help. While I lay shaking and panting in the bed, my midwife and nurse filled the labor tub with warm water. I climbed in as soon as I could. Laboring wasn’t fun anymore, it was harder work and I had to focus, but I was still calm and relaxed. My midwife leaned against the side of the tub and talked me through contractions, Rob poured warm water down my back with each one and I focused on the sensation of water going down. It was just an hour until I began feeling the urge to push.

 

I don’t know if it’s because of my past abuse, or if it’s common to become fearful during the pushing phase of labor, but I suddenly became panicked. I was thrashing around the tub crying, “Help me!” splashing everywhere. I tried to get up and leave. I was holding back against the pushes, trying to escape my own urges. I will be forever thankful for what came next. My midwife grabbed my arms and looked right into my eyes saying, “Hold it together. Your body is strong, and you can do this. You need to hold it together and your baby will be here.” I started to sob in her arms, “I need to you help me. Help me please.” My heart was breaking because I was so afraid of what I would think of myself if I couldn’t push my baby out on my own. “Moan low. And push into the pain. Push your baby through the pain.” Ten minutes later my beautiful daughter was born into the water and placed on my chest. I rested there with her, relief and joy in my heart. She barely even cried, she just nestled in to me. Rob beamed with pride. We had overcome the obstacles and done it.

 

The next morning the second midwife from the practice came to visit me to see how my birth had gone. I told her how it had been so peaceful except the end. But I had managed to keep it together and go naturally. Besides my pride in my accomplishment, her words built me up: “You are powerful. You birthed a baby. You can do anything.” That was truth.

 

I took that confidence and power home with me from the hospital. Unlike after my first birth, I suffered no post-partum depression. I started to trust my instincts more. I began to be more open-hearted to Rob and my daughters. I don’t want to pretend that one event changed my whole life, but in some ways it did. My natural birth experience was the first time someone other than my husband trusted and respected my body. I was expected to be powerful, and I was! My daughter’s birth was a foundation of confidence that I can build my strength upon. It can’t be taken from me.

 

Devona Brazier is a wife and mother of three lovely daughters living in Akron, OH. She works to support pregnant and breastfeeding women through La Leche League membership and studying to her Lamaze Educator Certification. She enjoys kickboxing, running, hiking and sewing. She blogs at tobravebirth.com

Filed Under Birth, Birth stories, Featured Story, Post-partum depression, Postpartum

Fodada Giveaway Winner

February 14, 2013 By Cara Terreri Leave a Comment

Congratulations to Mary Beth who won the Fodada – Clothing with a Cause giveaway (chosen by Random.org)! We asked how you keep your heart healthy and Mary Beth answered:

To make sure my heart is healthy I do my very best to drink a glass of red wine every day. Sometimes at the end of a long day of motherhood I feel compelled to drink 2 glasses of red wine.

For more information on Fodada clothing and the causes they support, visit their website at www.fodadawear.com.

Filed Under Featured Story, Giveaway

Love the One You’re With: Bonding with Your Baby During Pregnancy

February 13, 2013 By Cara Terreri Leave a Comment

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! If you’re pregnant, you have a new valentine to consider this year. And while your little one won’t be looking for flowers or chocolate, there are ways you can begin to bond with your baby even before he or she (or they!) arrive. The following are tips compiled and excerpted from a Lamaze.org article on bonding with baby.

 

Take it slow. “Bonding” refers to the feelings of love and empathy that parents develop for their children. The bond you feel with your baby isn’t instantaneous; it will grow slowly yet steadily over the months of pregnancy until the day you meet your child and begin life as a family.

 

Write it down. It’s very normal to experience fears and concerns during your pregnancy. It’s important to give yourself space to deal with your fears in a way that works for you. Write in a journal or draw pictures of what’s going through your head. Share your concerns with your partner, as well as with your friends, pregnant or not. Expressing your thoughts will help you deal with them and accept your child into your life.

 

Double the love. If your partner feels removed from your pregnancy, help him with this simple exercise. Have him put his hand on your abdomen, and when he feels movement or when you tell him you sense the baby, have him say, “Hello, baby.” If he does this a few times a day for a week or two, he’ll feel more connected to both of you. Pretty soon, the baby may even kick his hand at the sound of your partner’s voice.

 

Take heart. If you have a hard time connecting emotionally with your baby during your pregnancy, it’s OK. Your body will continue to nourish and protect your baby even if your heart isn’t quite there yet. And more than likely, once your baby is born or shortly after, you will develop a close and connected relationship that will be like none other.

 

In what ways did you bond with your baby during pregnancy? Did you have a difficult time bonding? Share your comments for other moms to read — your words may reach someone who’s in need of encouragement!

 

Filed Under Bonding, Dads, Featured Story, Pregnancy Tagged With bonding

Postpartum Intimacy: Are You OK Down There?

February 11, 2013 By Cara Terreri Leave a Comment

In anticipation of Valentine’s Day this week, we thought we’d cover one of the big fears that women have about life after baby: sex. Many women wonder if it will ever feel the same, how much it will hurt, and what their sex life will be like once baby comes into the picture. Below, some of the experts at FitPregnancy give the scoop on sex after birth. 

 

By Tamekia Reece, a writer in Houston who specializes in parenting, sexual health and relationship issues.

Will intercourse hurt when we start having it again? Will my vagina be loose? Will my partner still enjoy sex with me? More pregnant women and new moms than you might think fret about issues like these. To put your mind at ease about your after-baby body, here’s the scoop on the biggest sex-related worries women have.

Worry No. 1 > >  Sex will be painful.
Real deal: Having a baby causes the ligaments that support the uterus to stretch, making it lower slightly, says Mark Chag, M.D., an OB-GYN at Harbour Women’s Health in Portsmouth, N.H. While discomfort caused by the penis hitting the uterus during intercourse is normal (and easily remedied by switching positions), pain is not. As long as you wait until you’re given the green light by your doctor (usually six weeks), sex should be painless, Chag says. If it isn’t, talk with your doctor, especially if you had an episiotomy; you could have another tear or an infection. But even when you’re physically ready for sex, you may not feel like having it. Blame fatigue, hormonal factors or the possibility that it’s just nature’s way of making sure you don’t get pregnant again too soon.

Worry No. 2 > >  My vagina will be stretched out.
Real deal:  Nikki Perry, of Salem, Ohio, is worried that her vagina will get “stretched out” during her second delivery. “It’s 10 years later and I’m 10 years older, so I’m concerned,” she says. Although the vagina obviously expands during childbirth, “it is very elastic and returns to its normal contour afterward,” says Jennifer Berman, M.D., director of female urology and sexual medicine at Rodeo Drive Women’s Health Center in Beverly Hills, Calif. If you’re concerned about tightness, do Kegel exercises or other pelvic-muscle-strengthening moves. To do Kegels, repeatedly squeeze and hold the same muscles that control urine flow several times throughout the day. Doing the same during intercourse can help keep your partner happy.

Worry No. 3 > >  Nursing will make my vagina dry.
Real deal:  “Because of low estrogen levels, lack of vaginal lubrication is common after delivery, especially for nursing mothers,” Chag says. However, he adds, most women find the problem corrects itself once they stop breastfeeding. In the meantime, use a vaginal lubricant like K-Y Jelly. If you use a lubricant insert such as Lubrin, your partner won’t even know the difference. If this doesn’t help or if dryness persists for longer than two months after you give birth or stop breastfeeding, talk with your OB-GYN.

Worry No. 4 > >  I’ll look funny “down there.”
Real deal: After a traumatic delivery that resulted in fourth-degree tears, Rachel T., of Newport News, Va., wouldn’t have sex with her husband for weeks after being cleared by her doctor. “I felt like a vaginal Frankenstein,” she says. While your vaginal area may be swollen and discolored after you give birth, it returns to its normal appearance within four to six weeks. “The vagina is like a rubber band,” Berman says. “It’ll bounce back.” And so, probably, will your love life.

Postpartum pointers
Ease into intercourse: You might want to devote more time than normal to hugging, kissing, mutual masturbation or oral sex.

Be prepared: Have plenty of lubricant on hand.

Use protection: Remember, breastfeeding is not a reliable form of birth control, and you can become pregnant again before your menstrual periods resume.

 

Filed Under Featured Story, Postpartum, Sex & Intimacy, Your Relationship

Thoughts on Birth the Second Time Around

February 8, 2013 By admin 1 Comment

By Caitlin Tucker

I knew right away this time around — I started to feel those familiar signs of pregnancy, cramps, tiredness and nausea. I took a test the first day of my missed period this time and those two little lines came up. My husband and I were very excited! Of course, I have the usually worries throughout the first trimester and the excitement to hear that little heart beat for the first time. For my daughter, who is now 15 months old, we took the typical route of care. We went to my family doctor to confirm that the home test was right, I stayed in their care until I was 28 weeks along and then I transferred care to an obstetrician for the remainder of my pregnancy. I felt confident with both my family doctor and obstetrician, and in spite of the quick visits  and long waits in the waiting room, I was satisfied overall.

We also took the typical labour and delivery classes through our local hospital. I remember only learning what to do once we got to the hospital and how to be admitted,  but not much about how to cope during labour. I figured, since I wanted a natural birth, it would just happen that way. I read a lot of books and spoke to a few of my friends that had already had babies. I wanted a non-medicated, natural and healthy birth. At 38 ½ weeks pregnant I felt my first contraction. After a few that were about 15 minutes apart, I let my husband know I thought early labour was starting. We arrived at the hospital when they were 1-3 minutes apart after about 5 hours of early labour. After about 7 hours more at the hospital, our little girl arrived at 5:43 a.m., weighing 6 pounds 15 ounces. We were relieved and so excited she had finally arrived! I think we were both just so happy she was healthy that it took a few months to come to the realization that my labour  did not go  the way I had hoped and planned. After I arrived at the hospital, I was set up on the fetal monitor and was continually monitored throughout my labour and wasn’t allowed off the hospital bed. In hindsight, I came to understand that being on one’s back during labour is one of the least comfortable positions in order to achieve a successful natural birth. I  laboured for 3 hours on the bed without medication, but as labour  got more intense and I wasn’t able to move around, the contractions became very difficult to cope with. My nurse was very nice, but didn’t offer any labour support and just kept her eyes on the baby monitor. My OB was also very nice, but as usual, she was on-call and was in and out of the room and also offered no support during labour other then medication options. Throughout my labour I was asked several times if I wanted an epidural and I kept saying “no” but after 3 hours and not knowing when it was going to end, I gave in and signed the form for the epidural. After taking the medication, I was relieved the pain was finally over. Two hours later, I was fully dilated.  After 2 more hours of directed pushing, our little one arrived.

Initially, we were satisfied with how things went and didn’t think too much about the disappointment that our natural birth plan didn’t happen. When I started to think about having more children, I realized how important it was to me to have a natural, healthy and safe birth. I started to read more books on natural births, watch documentaries, and educate myself. I spoke to my friends who had natural births and talked about what they did differently than myself. One major point that differed from my experience was that they prepared themselves by taking classes on how to cope with labour and had professional support with them during labour who encouraged and supported natural birth under safe situations. I continued my education on natural birth and it lead me to look into other care professionals that promote natural birth as a healthy part of life, instead of viewing the pain and experiences of natural childbirth as a burden.  When we found out that baby number two was on his/her way, I knew this was my opportunity to be as prepared as I could for labour this time around. I am now seeing a supportive midwife, enjoying their peaceful office with minimal wait times, and receiving encouragement to have a natural birth and continual support throughout labour and postpartum home visits. I believe that our bodies were designed to give birth that is inherently safe, and under most circumstances, women have the ability to give birth without medication, to move freely throughout labour. I believe that women need support from their friends, family, care givers and society as a whole to give birth naturally. It should be celebrated by women. Even though I’ve given birth once, I truly want to experience birth and have the support of my husband and midwife as they help me labour through the discomfort and bring another life into this world. I’m choosing not to be simply satisfied with my birth story – I want to be in awe of it.

 

Caitlin lives in Toronto, Canada, and is a wife and stay-at-home mother to one little girl and baby number two on the way. She and her husband are involved in their church and Caitlin helps run a mothers group on a bi-weekly basis. She recently enrolled in the Douglas College Lamaze Childbirth Educator Program and hopes to bring knowledge, empowerment, and encouragement to other women throughout their pregnancy and birth.

Filed Under Birth, Birth plans, Childbirth education, Featured Story

Fodada – Clothing with a Cause: A Giveaway!

February 6, 2013 By Cara Terreri 15 Comments

I recently discovered the online clothing retailer, “Fodada,” who offers a hip yet simple clothing line “for the best dada in the world.” And here’s the catch, Fodada not only sells cool, comfy clothing, but their main mission is to partner with organizations and causes that dads (and families) would be interested in supporting. As founder Bobby Barzi put it:

The amazing responsibility of becoming a father and raising my sons has become the most overwhelming and demanding yet rewarding experience of my life. Last year I realized that I needed to celebrate this experience and so I created fodada. I wanted to create a company that could provide a tangible product that could then be leverage to funnel exposure, support and funding for programming that is relevant and dedicated to fatherhood and families.

To date, Fodada has partnered with Autism Speaks, Giving Children Hope, Working Wardrobes, and the American Heart Association, and has helped inspire campaigns such as Color for Cause and Adopt a Dad, and programming initiatives from International Women’s Self Defense Day.

To recognize February’s American Heart Month and raise awareness for heart health in conjunction with the American Heart Association, Fodada has created a special line of red clothing available February 1 – March 22. Every purchase made from the red line during this time will result in a 100% donation of net proceeds to the American Heart Association. Fodada will also be donating 2500 little red newborn beanies to American Heart Association Hospitals to be put on babies delivered in the month of February. Each beanie will come with a note reminding and encouraging the parents about heart health and what it can mean to their family.

And here’s the cool part… Fodada is giving away two of their red line items to one lucky Giving Birth with Confidence reader! Comment on this post for your chance to win a red newborn beanie and your choice of a Mama or Dada Hoodie in red.

To enter to win, answer the following questions in the comments on this post: What do you do to keep your heart healthy? Comments for this giveaway will close on Wednesday, February 13 at 11pm EST. The winner will be announced here on Valentine’s Day, February 14. Good luck!

 

Filed Under Featured Story, Giveaway Tagged With Giveaway

To Induce or Not Induce

February 4, 2013 By Cara Terreri Leave a Comment

Are you approaching your due date or sitting, waiting past your due date? If so, it’s possible that you may be considering an induction. Before you mark your calendar, be sure to do your homework. An induction can be a helpful procedure for moms & babies who need it for medical reasons, but when induction is used outside of necessity, you should know about the risks. The following is reprinted from the Lamaze “Push for Your Baby” campaign website. 

An increasing number of hospitals are working hard to reduce the number of inductions they are doing, and for good reason. Artificially starting labor may be good for a care provider juggling a busy calendar, or your mother-in-law who wants to book her plane tickets, but it can make labor harder and more painful for women, and stress babies and jeopardize their health. Studies have consistently shown that the risk of having a C-section for first time moms nearly doubles with induction. It also increases your baby’s chance of being born premature. That’s because due dates aren’t an exact science. Even if you and your care provider are positive about your dates, every baby matures at a different rate. Inducing labor can mean your baby is born before he or she is ready.

Aside from the risks of induction, there are specific benefits to letting labor start on its own. During the last part of your pregnancy, your baby’s lungs mature and get ready to breathe. He or she puts on a protective layer of fat, and develops critical brain function through 41 weeks of pregnancy. Cutting the pregnancy short can be tough on your baby.

Before going through with an induction, tell everyone to hold their horses, and take time to learn more about benefits of letting labor start on its own.

What’s Next?

So, how do you get a better idea of the care your doctor or midwife will provide? Ask good questions! Take a look at some suggestions.

Talk Back

How about you? Are you hoping to avoid certain interventions in your baby’s birth? Have you experienced interventions that made your birth harder? Did you successfully avoid an intervention that helped make your birth easier and safer? Tell us your story in the comments.

Filed Under Birth, Featured Story, Induction Tagged With labor induction

Postpartum Diary: Pamela & Simon @ 6 weeks

February 1, 2013 By Pamela Lurie Leave a Comment

Simon is six weeks old. Not sure how that happened, but we’ve been taking it one day at a time.

Postpartum care has been more difficult this time for me, maybe because I have two kids already or maybe because it was a birth followed directly by the holidays with family in town. It’s been difficult to keep track of everything.

The first week or two after Simon was born I kept myself to the couch and spent all my time nursing, sleeping, and taking my regimen of postpartum supplements.  As difficult as it is to sit still for me, my midwife reminded me that I am working on life-long health and healing so she told me to work hard at being “the most bored I’ve ever been in my life.”

As far as my gestational diabetes, Simon’s blood sugar was fine at birth, and I’m finding as long as I eat a diet similar to what I ate while I was pregnant, I feel great. I have a follow up glucose screen scheduled in March.

The uterine contractions while nursing were the most intense cramps I have ever had, worse so this time as it was my third, and I alternated ibuprofen, Tylenol, arnica (for bruising), and After-Ease tincture. Even though I had no tearing or abrasions, the internal bruising from delivering a posterior baby was severe, so the morning after Simon’s birth Thad drove us to Dr. Michelle, the amazing chiropractor, for adjustments.  It took about three weeks for my sacrum to stop throbbing. With regular adjustments and careful sitting positions, I did my best to keep myself comfortable, especially with all the nursing.

At her postpartum visit, my doula checked me for diastasis recti, something no one has ever done for me before. It was very weird. I lay down flat on the couch, she put her fingers across my belly, and had me lift only my head to look at my feet. As I did that, she could feel where my abdominal muscles separated – luckily it was only about three fingers wide. She recommended looking up Julie Tupler and her famous Tupler Technique ™ to learn more. After reading their website, I found that the abdominal problems I had after Dash were due to this separation, and I had never known. I bought the DVD, booklet, and splint and started the program this past Sunday. Hopefully, this will encourage healing and prevent any further injury. This is really important for mothers to look for and fix – the separation can cause so many problems with your back and your core, especially if you have had multiple pregnancies. This isn’t generally an area of focus in postpartum care, so it’s extra important for you to educate yourself. In fact, no one has ever brought this up to me before my trainer, with whom I worked during my pregnancy with Simon.

Simon is doing great. He is growing like a weed and by his 11th day had already surpassed his birth weight. Nursing has been the area in which I’ve felt the most comfortable, and I feel that we had a very good rhythm from the get go. Luckily, my milk came in on day 2, and we’ve been going strong ever since.

We decided to do vitamin K drops with Simon, as opposed to our first two where we did the shot. After researching our options this time around we felt the drops would be sufficient. I’m also taking alfalfa, which increases the amount of Vitamin K in my milk which he then gets.   The state of Virginia required blood screenings – we never received any results, but from what we’ve been told, no news is good news.

At six weeks, physically I feel pretty good. My bleeding has stopped, started, and stopped again, and I’ve been using it as my measurement for how much I should be doing. With three kids and a household to run, needless to say, there is plenty to do, but luckily my husband has been on paternity leave up to now (yes, I know how lucky I am), so he has been helping tremendously with the older boys and general house chores. In fact, he is transcribing this entry for me as I nurse Simon.

Emotionally, for the first two weeks of Simon’s life I had more intense baby blues than I have had in either of the prior births. I have had an unexpected experience this time, however, with a lot of irrational anxieties and uncontrollable weepiness. At about four weeks postpartum, it occurred to me that I may be experiencing some symptoms of postpartum depression, such as lack of desire to do things that used to make me happy, being anxious and worrisome, trouble sleeping, wanting to be alone, withdrawing from friends, and feeling guilty. Normally, I’m a very social person, but these past few weeks, I’ve found it difficult to see anyone outside my nuclear family, but have been ‘forcing it’ to make sure the boys get some social time.   Thad’s sister and her husband were visiting for five weeks throughout this time and I don’t know if that had an impact on me, but I am grateful that they were here to spend time with the boys while I was recovering.

Last year, I attended a conference thrown by Postpartum Virginia on perinatal anxiety disorders at INOVA Fairfax Hospital. I went wearing my hat as the founder of Mothers Healing Together to find ways to help my mothers better, and I never thought I would be sitting here using the things I learned there to help myself instead.

I’ve been trying to do all of the things the experts say to do when battling postpartum depression – extra rest, eating a healthy diet, taking breaks from Simon when needed (his presence, luckily, is not difficult for me like it is for some moms), and frankly, giving myself a break. It’s too easy in these postpartum days to let your hormones drive your thoughts, and I’ve been trying hard to stay rational and objective.

I am planning on going to a Postpartum Virginia support group tomorrow at the hospital to listen to other women’s stories and hopefully better understand what is going on. I had no idea this affects more than 20% of mothers and I hope they are finding the help they need too.  Having never battled clinical depression before, this is uncharted territory for me and I keep getting frustrated that I can’t ‘turn off my brain’. Self-talk doesn’t necessarily help, and talking to friends who know me doesn’t help, but hopefully hearing the stories of women who have been in my shoes will. I’ll report back.

So this is where we are.  Thad goes back to work full-time on Monday and I am looking forward to getting into a routine with the boys.  We are enjoying these last few days of his paternity leave together and hopefully we’ll slide into a nice family routine as we navigate these crazy days with a newborn.

Filed Under Featured Story, Postpartum Diary

Learn About Latch & Breastfeeding with YouTube

January 30, 2013 By Cara Terreri 1 Comment

Photo from La Leche League International.

When beginning to breastfeed, and throughout your breastfeeding career, achieving a proper latch is the key to ensuring a comfortable experience for you (no cracked or bleeding nipples) and a satisfying experience for your baby (milk in his tummy!). Know this: Breastfeeding should not hurt! If it does, you must re-examine your baby’s latch. A poor latch leads to hurt, sore, and “traumatized” nipples, which leads to frustration, pain, and disappointment. If you find that you’re experiencing pain from breastfeeding, seek help as soon as possible. The sooner you can fix a bad latch, the less likely it is you will endure more severe nipple pain. If possible, seek help from a lactation consultant in your area. Some will consult over the phone, which can help, but for latch problems, it’s best if a lactation consultant see you and your baby feeding in action. Often, hospital maternity wards will have lactation consultants on staff. Call the hospital to ask if you can stop by for a consultation. Otherwise, search for a private lactation consultant in your area.

If a lactation consultant is not available or if you’ve already seen someone and want more information, YouTube is an excellent resource. YouTube contains several videos that demonstrate — with a live baby & mom — a good latch. Search YouTube with phrases like “good breastfeeding latch,” “how to get a good latch,” and “good latch bad latch.” Watch a few different videos to see how babies are positioned at different angles, and how a good latch looks looks on moms with different breast size and appearance, and with babies of different ages.

 Have you used YouTube for breastfeeding help? Tell us about it in the comments!

 

Filed Under Breastfeeding, Featured Story Tagged With breastfeeding, good latch, lactation consultant

Breastfeeding & Parenting: One Family’s Experience

January 28, 2013 By admin 2 Comments

By Lauralee Moss

Creative Commons photo by Raphael GoetterColds and the flu always surrounded my poor babies. Before I stayed home with them, I taught high school language arts. My students gave their nasty germs to me, and even though I nursed my children, they still got “lighter” versions of my illnesses. Seeing sick babies is always difficult for me, but it’s even more tough with a nursling who struggles to latch with a stuffed nose.

My husband and I created a routine to make nursing a sick baby easier: I showered and dressed before work, and then he showered. Only about five minutes into his time, I handed him a small towel and an infant. The warm water and steam rinsed off goopy eyes and cleared stuffy noses. Daddy finished showering, and I nursed a relaxed and latch-able baby.

I no longer teach, but my older two children are in school and bring home germs to the baby. We continue our routine, as he still volunteers to shower the baby if the tiny nose stuffs up again.

This seemingly small task makes my nursing life easier, as does all of my husband’s help. Nursing is an important, but fractional part of our larger parenting work. I may do the actual, physical feeding, but their father provides indispensable support as I nurse.

I’ve heard friends make the argument that by formula-feeding, they are not the only ones responsible for feeding — that the father will bond with the baby and will do “just as much work” as the mom.

In our family, we have found ways, apart from feeding, for my husband to bond with our babies. Showering tiny sick ones is just one of those ways. He lifted our babies’ tiny arms to wake them when they fell asleep at the breast. He carefully positioned them around my cesarean section incision for more comfortable nursing. He remembered advice from the lactation consultants and pediatrician as I sat in a new-mom daze. He helped me cover myself with a blanket as I ventured out as a new mother. As I grew in my confidence, he stood beside me as I publicly breastfed without a cover. He has listened to me discuss my breastfeeding theories and observations and defended me when family members questioned why I was still feeding our baby “on the boob.” When others question why I didn’t start feeding our first baby solids at four months, he quoted the American Academy of Pediatrics and World Health Organization statements about breastfeeding for six months.

Now that I nurse our third child, he provides healthy answers for our older two children when they ask: “How does the milk come out? Where does the milk go? Why does Cara not drink from a bottle? I want to see the MILK!” Most importantly, when my impressionable son asked why I nurse the baby, my husband said, “Because that is how it is supposed to be.”

Normalizing the process for the next generation — acting as a role model for a son — is important work. My husband has defended, physically helped, and mentally supported my breastfeeding. He does it all, not because he came to our parenting relationship as an outspoken breastfeeding advocate, but because we parent the best way we know how, and we do that together.

We have always seen breastfeeding as a part of parenting — and we parent together. I supply the food for a tiny fraction of our children’s lives. He has at least seventeen years to feed our babies.  I have breasts for food — he has big bear shoulders for the kids to ride around the house. Together, we provide both the physical and mental nourishment for our children.

 

Lauralee Moss lives in Illinois with her husband, three children, and crazy dog. She writes at switchingclassrooms.com.

Filed Under Dads, Featured Story, Feeding, Parenting Tagged With breastfeeding
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