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Great Expectations: Liz @ 18 Weeks

August 20, 2010 By Liz Abbene 4 Comments

“Feels like a foot!” It’s amazing how four little words can totally change things. Up until a few days ago, I spent a portion of every day worrying about the well-being of this little nugget and fearing that we would lose our baby once again.  As much as I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help it, and it was starting to weigh on my mind. As I’m nearing the half-way point of my pregnancy, I realized that this worry has interfered with me truly being able to enjoy this little one.

Then, at my prenatal visit the other day with my midwife, she was palpating my belly to feel the baby’s position, and said, very casually, “Feels like a foot!” At that moment, I felt like this dark cloud that has been following me for the last several months lifted. I was amazed at the fact that our little nugget is now big enough for her to distinguish body parts–that he or she is growing and thriving inside me, despite my worry, making me realize that I need to fully trust my body and my baby.

We heard the baby’s heartbeat again (no trucker interference this time), strong and clear.  My children continue to relish in the fact that my belly is getting bigger all the time, making it a prime target for hugs and kisses. I called up the photographer who took maternity photos for me with my previous pregnancies (including the one we lost) and had her come over to take the first pictures in what will become a series, ending with new baby shots. All these things, along with the feeling of those tiny little feet squirming around inside me, have given me a whole new outlook on my pregnancy.

Filed Under Great Expectations, Health and well-being, Pregnancy, Recent Posts Tagged With Great Expectations

Great Expectations: Liz @ 16 Weeks

August 6, 2010 By Liz Abbene 1 Comment

Throughout pregnancy, women are bombarded with horror stories, tragic tales of loss, and panic-inducing accounts of unexpected outcomes.  Being exposed to these negative images causes women to fear the process of birth, which ultimately can impact their birth experience, possibly leading to greater discomfort, difficult labor, and unnecessary interventions. In my line of work, I am privileged to be a part of the amazing, beautiful, and awe-inspiring elements of pregnancy and birth. However, sometimes these not-so-perfect things creep in as well, and I’d be lying if I said that it doesn’t affect me too.

So, what is a mama to do?  I am definitely trying to keep negative birth images free from my life as much as possible. That means no dramatic, worse-case scenario birth TV shows, since apparently normal birth doesn’t make for good programming.  It means seeking out positive birth stories, whether it be in person, books, magazines, or on the web. READ:  Keep in mind that positive doesn’t have to mean easy, short, unmedicated, vaginal, orgasmic, etc. It means taking time every day to focus on this baby and connect with him or her, whether it be a few minutes before bed at night, during yoga class, or in the shower, as is often the only quiet “me-time” during the day.  As I begin to really feel pregnant, it means truly embracing the changes–the aches and twinges of my growing belly, the road map of veins that has taken over my legs, the breasts that are on the verge of letters that I’ve never reached before in a cup size–rather than dwelling on the discomfort.  I feel that by doing these things, I can overshadow any negativity that sneaks in, and ultimately I am preparing myself for a fabulous birth, no matter what.

Filed Under Birth, Birth stories, Great Expectations, Health and well-being, Pregnancy, Recent Posts

Great Expectations: Liz @ 14 Weeks

July 24, 2010 By Liz Abbene 2 Comments

The fog has lifted!  I’m on my way back to normal (as normal as a pregnant woman can feel.)  After one final week of ridiculous nausea, I’m feeling much better.  The fatigue seems to have diminished and has returned to my usual level of mom-doula-wife fatigue. I am hopeful that I have turned a corner and will finally be able to eat foods that have slightly more nutritional value than spiral-shaped macaroni and cheese.

Since my uterus is tipped backwards, the baby’s heartbeat has been previously undetectable with the midwife’s handheld doppler.  We were hoping that it would be this week and had explained to three very excited kids that we might be able to hear the baby at my check-up the other day.  However, no one could have anticipated what happened when my midwife put the doppler to my belly. After the usual few seconds of static, the sounds of a truck driver on a CB radio began emanating from my uterus!  The looks on the children’s faces were priceless, and the midwife remarked, “Mmm, that’s never happened before!”  After a solid 20 seconds of trucker talk, she was able to pick up the right frequency again, and finally we heard the familiar thumping of a baby’s heart.  Needless to say, I was a bit skeptical that it was actually my baby after the major technological glitch, but it was still a fabulous sound.

I’ve also been reassured by the tiny little movements that I’ve been feeling lately. After over a week of ruling out gas, and discovering that there is a pattern to the movements (usually after a big sneeze, which is happening a lot lately, or eating a meal), I am convinced that it’s definitely my little nugget squirming around in there.

Filed Under Great Expectations, Health and well-being, Pregnancy, Recent Posts, Working with a midwife Tagged With midwife care, Pregnancy, second trimester

Great Expectations: Liz @ 12 Weeks

July 9, 2010 By Liz Abbene Leave a Comment

In the past week, I’ve had the honor of attending three births, all of which were quite different from one another. However, in every birth, it was amazing how powerful each mama’s mind was in controlling the outcome.  One mama was surprised by the intensity of labor, and once self-doubt set in, she found nearly impossible to overcome. A second-time mama’s labor slowed after she became hung up on a few words uttered by her provider, but later made a decision based on her intuition (not her provider’s advice) that brought her baby into the world within the hour. She felt so healed and empowered after having experienced a traumatic first birth.  The other mama had 100% faith and trust in her body, her baby, and birth, despite being labeled “high risk.” Ultimately she experienced an amazingly short, uncomplicated birth.

Working with expectant mamas and attending births, of course, makes me think of myself.  Although I definitely have complete trust in the process, I also know how unpredictable pregnancy and birth can be and that things can change at any moment.  Instead of allowing this knowledge to create fear, I am choosing to use the power of my own mind (along with the crazy things happening to my body) to stay positive. The lingering nausea, extremely dry lips–an odd symptom, not previously experienced, that has been remedied by Lansinoh (lanolin for cracked nipples that works fabulously on other body parts) and cod liver oil–and breasts that are on the verge of busting out of my “pregnancy bras,” make me confident that my hormones and this little nugget have definitely taken over my body.

Filed Under Great Expectations, Pregnancy, Recent Posts

Great Expectations: Liz @ 10 Weeks

June 25, 2010 By Liz Abbene 1 Comment

 

Welcome to our newest series at Giving Birth with Confidence: “Great Expectations.” Follow along with us in this bi-weekly update as we learn about one woman’s journey to birth and motherhood, complete with growing belly photos. Today we meet Liz who is due in January 2011 with baby number four. Liz comes to us with not only the experience of previous pregnancies, but she also is a childbirth educator and doula. We look forward to her insight! 

 

Thump, thump, thump, thump.  It’s a sound I’ve heard so many times, yet never tire of–the sound of my unborn child’s heart.  Hearing it for the first time yesterday, seeing that little nugget growing inside me, was the most incredible feeling.  Although I’ve had many ultrasounds before, with my three amazing children, this one was especially emotional, and definitely worthy of waterproof mascara.  After experiencing an unexpected loss over the winter, I’ve been nervous, but hopeful about this pregnancy.  I had never had any trouble conceiving, never had a miscarriage, and then suddenly, my world was turned upside down.  The doula and childbirth educator in me knew that there was a reason for it–most likely some sort of anomaly that couldn’t have been prevented, that the baby wasn’t perfect, so my body just took care of it. However, knowing that didn’t make it any less excruciating.

This time around, I feel much more pregnant, which is perhaps my body’s way of reassuring me that all is well. I have all-day sickness and major food aversions, which I don’t love, but am definitely embracing, knowing that it’s a sign that my hormone levels are rising. My body has had no trouble remembering what it’s like to be pregnant, as is apparent by my definitive bump. I am quite fatigued, making chasing after three other children along with attending births more challenging, so I am starting to shift my energy from other mamas to myself so I can focus on the important work that my body needs to do in growing this wonderful, much-loved nugget!

10 Weeks!

Filed Under Great Expectations, Pregnancy, Recent Posts Tagged With belly photo, Great Expectations, miscarriage, Pregnancy