40 weeks have come... and gone
As I write this, I am five days past my due date with my third baby. I’m no stranger to being “overdue.” With my last pregnancy, I gave birth five days after my estimated due date. I was lucky enough with my first to go into labor three days before being due. Despite the fact that a perfectly healthy pregnancy can last between 38 – 42 weeks, we are so ingrained to hinge on the almighty 40 weeks “deadline.”
Here’s the reality: 40 weeks is an average time for pregnancy that is based on a date (last menstrual period or conception) that can be uncertain or inaccurate. The result is an estimate – not a deadline, expiration or delivery date. Your baby is not a FedEx package. And yet, women who go beyond the magical 40 weeks due date are made to feel like a pressure cooker. Well-meaning family and friends call, text and email to check in, asking questions like, “Are you still pregnant?!”; some care providers put women who are postdates on a time clock, often stripping membranes to jumpstart labor, performing a barrage of tests to check on baby and scheduling an induction date; and then there is the general discomfort and exhaustion that comes along with the end of a pregnancy that makes a woman feel like she is “so done” with pregnancy. With all of this pressure, even the most patient and informed woman becomes irritated, on edge and prone to doing whatever it takes to birth her baby.
Have you ever heard anyone say that children develop and hit milestones at different rates? The same is true for developing babies. Some may be ready for birth at 39 and-a-half weeks while others need an extra two weeks or more. Allowing baby to initiate birth helps ensure that he or she receives enough time to develop and mature. Contrary to what many believe, the last few weeks of pregnancy are not just for fattening baby up. Important organs, like the brain, lungs and liver, are still developing, as well as functions like sucking and swallowing. Interrupting these processes by scheduling an induction — unless there is true medical reason — can deprive baby of the time he or she needs to grow, and poses risks associated with induction.
So, what do you do when you’re overdue? Having been in this situation twice now, my best advice is to stop waiting around. Sitting around, jumping at every little twinge, ache or contraction, waiting for labor to begin will do nothing but drive you absolutely crazy! If you’re physically able, schedule something to do every day for three days straight. Make dinner plans, get a pedicure, see a movie, visit a friend, make freezer meals — you get the idea. If you come to the end of those three days and baby is still cooking, schedule the next three days. Having something to look forward to besides the birth of your baby will help pass the time and keep your mind occupied. And when you encounter the questions, comments and suggestions from others about your overdue-ness, smile and say something like, “Just like a cake, baking times may vary.”
About Cara Terreri
Ask our resident obstetrical expert, Henci Goer, any question you have about conception, pregnancy, birth, and newborns. 
Cara this is too true! I think everyone starts asking about when baby will come much sooner than your actual ‘due date.’ The last few weeks are always so long to begin with, and I am definitely guilty of getting excited about every contraction. I’ve got my exercise ball out and it’s a fun thing to bounce on and play with my boys…and I am so miserable with pregnancy induced arthritis that I don’t even want to think about taking a walk. And yes, I’m totally done being pregnant! With my pregnancy and heart problem history, we have set an induction date but I am hoping to go into labor on my own. And every time my doctor checks me and I’m further progressing, I feel a little bit closer to being finished, but also remind myself that with both boys I was 3cm dilated for 4 weeks before birth! Best of luck with these last few days before baby, and Wed morning is pedicure time for this pregnant lady if you’d like to join!
I was six days “overdue” with my first child. And I was so irritated with the questions and comments everyone made that I stopped talking to people and made my husband field all calls and questions. This time around, I’m trying to plan on being late, and telling others that I’ll likely be late in an attempt to be less irritable and to maybe make them think twice before telling me I need to be induced.
Thanks for this article! My son was born 11 days past his due date 5 weeks ago, and well meaning people drove me batty with “check ins”. I was done work and sitting and waiting, which I’m pretty terrible at. I love the quote about cake…I’ll remember that if I ever go past my due date again!
Thanks so much for writing this. I am going to send it out to all of my current clients and use it as a reference.
I always encourage my clients to “plan for being past your EDD”. It’s not a term paper that you get extra credit for when turned in early or a point reduction if turned in late. But I love your comment about ovens cooking differently. Need to put that on a t-shirt for Moms to wear in their last trimester! Wouldn’t that be a hoot.!
I also get repeat clients who sometimes struggle when one baby comes early and another comes later. Every pregnancy is unique and every baby “cooks” at his/her own pace. I love how you have once again re-assued Moms to let go of the date and let the baby decide. Trust the process.
Although much of this is physical, the mind and your thoughts are paramount in stalling or promoting birth. Obviously there is a point at which your mind cannot prevent your body’s obvious natural functioning…..but up to this point, thought can definetly be a major factor….so staying busy and distracting focus is a good idea….and it makes time fly.
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Thanks for the words of encouragement. Like Molly pointed out, I am 40w5d with my second and my first came exactly at 39w. These past few weeks have been especially trying for me since everyone, myself included, thought this one would come early too. Since I work in the birth world, I also know too much. So my mind has been racing lately, obsessing over every little thought.
I need to remember to trust my body, my baby and my midwives. I need to remember to surround myself with love and positive light. I need distractions. Too bad it’s technically summer here in Texas.
I also like the cake quote. I am going to use that, if you don’t mind. I will reference your site.